How to have a Branded* Baby For Less

*"branded" in this country means wearing brand-name clothing and has nothing to do with hot metal and cows. There's no need to call your local Child and Family Services.

STEP ONE
Find a blazingly hot children's store and purchase a highly discounted baby shirt - preferably one without any outward labels or brands. Our store of choice was our neighborhood Anakku (it means "My Child") that was having a clearance sale. The temperature inside the store was comparable to the nether-regions of a volcano.


STEP TWO
Make sure you have a handy supply of fake designer labels. These can be secured nearly anywhere. Ours were provided free of charge from a friendly local who boasts of never buying branded items - yet every article of clothing his children own has a Nike or Puma label... or both.


STEP THREE
Heat iron.


STEP FOUR
Select your brand of choice and lightly soak it in room-temperature water. We opted for a tasteful blue Nike swoosh.


STEP FIVE
Place a light cloth on top of the shirt and label and have your super-cute pregnant wife apply iron for several seconds.


STEP SIX
Gently peel back label.


Success. Your baby is now sufficiently branded. Enjoy the rewards of having a spoiled child at a rock-bottom price.

Cost: RM3.00 ($0.88)